I hear this question ALL the time. I have a busy private practice supporting mothers, I run a monthly meet-up for mompreneurs, I host a radio show, I am the Vice President of Postpartum Support International NJ Chapter AND a wife & mother to three girls under the age of 8.
The truth is that I don't get EVERYTHING done. I make choices each day about what is important, what I need to do on my own and what I can have someone else do. The only way that I am able to take care of my children and my clients is because I am really selfish. What I want is just as important as what other people want. Am I opposed to compromise? OF COURSE NOT, but I make a conscious choice to RECEIVE as much as I am GIVING to others.
If you are reading this feeling like a failure in some area of your life I want you to know that you deserve compassion and you are doing your best. Maybe there is a reason this information is showing up for you.
Here the 5 things that allow me to show up fully in my life and make my dreams a reality without sacrificing my health or relationships.
1. My Physical Health is a Priority
If I get sick it's a setback for my soul's desire to be of service to others. To ensure that I have the health and physical energy for everything I need to get done each day I take actions like using high quality vitamins and supplements, eating reasonably healthy, minimizing caffeine and alcohol, getting 7-8 hours of sleep and reducing my toxic load by using therapeutic grade essential oils for my personal care and cleaning products.
2. My Mental Health is a Priority
I have struggled with anxiety for my entire life. It started when I was little and had a seizure disorder. I was always afraid of having a seizure and losing control. I haven't had a seizure in over 30 years but the anxiety has been a constant companion. Instead of trying to get rid of my anxious feelings I have accepted that they are just feelings NOT reality. I use many tools like mindfulness, essential oils, crystals, reiki and EFT to cope when I have fear rush into my system. I learned all of these tools by going to therapy and investing in holistic practitioners and teachers. There was a time in my life when I let my anxiety run my life. I made poor choices about coping tools (like drinking and smoking) and let it stop me from living my life. Every day I make conscious choices so that NEVER happens again.
3. My Spiritual Practice is a Priority
I trust in a divine plan and believe that each one of us is an important piece of the puzzle of humanity. We are each here for a specific purpose and its our job to connect to our higher self to find out exactly what that purpose is. To connect to spirit I meditate most days, I lead a meditation for other women each week, I connect with nature and see G-D in each one of my children. When I experience a challenge in my life rather than feeling sorry for myself or blaming others for my situation I do my best to look for how it is an opportunity to grow.
4. I have an AWESOME support team
So this is the key to how I am able to get stuff done. My husband works really hard to pay the mortgage and all the bills so I don't have to worry about keeping the lights on with my work. Maybe one day that won't be the case but for right now my kids come first. He is also really fun and pushes me to do things out of my comfort zone. My mom lives with us. She watches my youngest if I have work during the day, cleans up my house, does some of the laundry and listens to me when I need to process something or make a decision. My mother-in-law watches my daughters and hosts pretty much every holiday so I never have to worry about it. My sitters, Sree and Antionette, are super fun and creative. I can always count on them to do the messy art projects, homework and even bath time once in a while. My mom friends will take my kids for a few hours for play dates and give me a chance to have some me time. They are also great to talk to about my mommy guilt and kid concerns. My mompreneur community supports my ideas and pushes me to grow past my comfort zone. My marketing team allows me to have the time DO only the things that I want and that I am good at. The key to having a great support team is acknowledging that it's OK to need other people and asking for help when you need it.
5. I am OK with Letting Go of Control
I am the furthest thing from a helicopter parent. I LOVE when my kids play by themselves and figure out ways to take care of their own needs. I let them pick their clothes, I let them get boo boos, I don't micromanage their diet, who they play with or how much TV they watch. Some people might even say I am too lax and that is totally ok because I mother in a way that feels good for me. There is NO one right way to mother but there are a million ways to be an awesome mom. You just have to figure out what works for you and your family.
I had a harder time letting go of control in my business but hiring someone to do my marketing was the best investment I have made.
So there you have it. I am FAR from having it all but for me it's enough. I am grateful every single day for my life and for the journey. I am so excited for what the future holds and to watch how peace ripples all over our planet.
I would love to hear from you.
How do you accomplish what you want in life?
Jennifer Bronsnick, MSW, LCSW is passionate about supporting moms to be resilient. As a mother of three daughters under 8 and a survivor of postpartum depression and anxiety Jennifer knows exactly how challenging motherhood can be. She also knows that there is hope for all of us and with accurate information, support and inspiration that mothers and families can thrive.
Jennifer’s years of clinical experience as a social worker and her own personal journey gives her the unique ability to guide other moms on their path to health and wellness. You can also learn more about Jennifer, the services she offers and purchase her books on maternal self-care at www.themindfulfamily.com/jennifer.
Click HERE to schedule a complimentary 1-1 Wellness Assessment with Jennifer