Therapy never worked for me.
When I was a teenager and my parents sent me after some behavior issues I was having (aka skipping school). I sat in this nice woman’s office and stared at her without saying a word. I was certain that all she wanted was for me to stop breaking the “rules” or that whatever I said would be used against me and I would have more restrictions put on me. If I could have trusted her I might have opened up a bit, but I just wasn’t ready. I didn’t think anything was wrong and I wasn’t ready to stop being a victim in my life.
I went to therapy again after I started having panic attacks in graduate school. This time I opened up more about my past, my fears, and relationship issues. I am sure she was talented, but I felt additional stress from paying her tons of money (while being a student) to look at the past without fixing my future.
Again, I made little progress because I was looking to blame my parents or having a seizure disorder on my current reality. I wasn’t yet able to take responsibility for my own life.
Then I read the book, The Four Agreements. This was the small step I needed to raise my level of consciousness and as a byproduct became better able to tolerate my anxious symptoms…and became a happier person. The Four Agreements are, “Don’t Make Assumptions, Always do Your Best, Be Impeccable with Your Words and Don’t Take Anything Personal.”
While I made a lot of progress, at some point my life stress increased and I must have moved back into a victim mindset because I began to have panic again.
I knew from my past experience that I wanted a different type of therapy, so I found someone who offered hypnosis, Mindfulness Based Techniques and Biofeedback. He taught me what was happening in my body that was creating the suffering I was experiencing. This experience opened a door and allowed me to become explore to other healing tools to support me in my journey of Thriving. I am beyond grateful for all of the intuitive geniuses who were able to understand me without words, the essential oils that work with the subtle energy field, for Reiki healing and the Master who taught me, and for Quantum Healing and EFT.
There is this collective belief that if you are struggling with symptoms like anxiety or depression that therapy plus medication is your only answer. I would like to invite you to consider few other experiences that you might also benefit from to help you feel good about your life.
Top 10 strategies to support you in loving your life and feeling good
1. Work with a Health or Life Coach
2. Take Reiki Level 1 and become your own healer
3. Get a Human Design Reading from a Specialist
4. Start meditating or practicing mindfulness every single day
5. Before you speak or believe a thought ask yourself, “Am I 100% sure that this is true?”
6. Use EFT to clear any beliefs, emotions or traumatic events that are causing you distress
7. Make a new best friend and make sure you listen if they tell your beliefs about yourself or others aren’t accurate. (My BFF use the Marco Polo app to stay in touch everyday)
8. Join a peer support group and remember that you are not alone
9. Listen to inspiring Podcasts or stories about people overcoming challenges
10. Help someone who is worse off than you are and never harm another person
Bonus Tip- Move your body daily, try Yoga, Rowing or Dancing. Just MOVE.
By the way if you have an amazing therapist and it is working for you AWESOME. Stick with it.
However, if you have been in therapy and you are just not “feeling better” I want you to know that there are other tools out there to help you step into the life that you are meant to live.
You are here for a reason. You are a piece of the puzzle of humanity and you have gifts you are meant to share with the world. Every day you are alive is a new opportunity to be amazing.
What could your life be like in a year of you started today?
I still have times that I drop into a victim mindset, but having these tools and being a part of a community who are committed to spiritual growth helps me to move through it much faster….and feel soo much better!
If you have been diagnosed with PTSD, Bi-polar disorder, have suicidal thoughts, a personality disorder, or have any delusions or paranoia it is essential that you continue your medication and current treatment protocol. Use the suggestions above as a supplementation to the work you are already doing. Never stop your medication without speaking to your doctor.
P.S. If you have no idea what some of these concepts are. Like EFT or Human Design, but are curious about how they might help you and want to learn more; Click Here to get your Human Design Chart and set up a time to chat.
Jennifer Bronsnick, MSW & CEO of The Mindful Family, is a sought-after expert in the treatment and prevention of anxiety and burnout. Jennifer is on a mission to empower mothers to learn the skills needed to bounce back from any of life's setbacks and stress. She is a mother of three and author of three books on healing from burnout and thriving in motherhood.