When you think of women role models, who comes to mind?
Eleanor Roosevelt? Sojourner Truth? Sandra Day O'Conner?
Our nation has a history filled with women who have embodied courage, tenacity, wisdom and compassion.
But have you ever paused to think about who your daughter looks up to?
Who will impact the kind of woman she is going to grow into?
Who has the ability to show her what courage, tenacity, and compassion looks like in action?
The truth is, there is no one more influential in your daughters life than you.
There is a bit of a trick to this though.
You can not influence her by what you tell her to do or be.
You influence her by modeling the characteristics that you desire for her to have.
By living the most authentic version of yourself and being present in her life (even when she is driving you crazy).
I know this is easier said than done, so try this tip: Channel your inner role model
Bring to your mind a picture of your role model.
When feeling frustrated or challenged in some way with your daughter (or son) ask yourself, "What would _(fill in your role model)___do?"
This mental stance gives you some emotional distance from the situation and takes your own ego desires out of the equation.
Having said this, In my practice I have seen that parents have some difficultly doing this.
They are more likely to tell their children what to do rather than model values-based living.
And that's totally normal! It's hard to keep an even keel when you're in the middle of having your "button's pressed" by your own kin.
Just for this week, consider this simple exercise:
I am going to ask that just for a moment step out of your role as her mother and ask, "What would _(fill in the blank with amazing woman)_do?"
Just experiment with this and pay attention to what happens inside of you and with your daughter's behaviors.
Use your inner guidance to know whether it is correct to keep playing with this tip or whether it doesn't suit you.
There is no right or wrong, just play a bit.
I would love to hear from you! Who are your role models?
PS If you are serious about getting support then let's discuss creating a relationship with your family that real, authentic and deeply loving. Click Here to book your one on one time. This 15 minute phone session is absolutely free.
Jennifer Bronsnick, MSW, LCSW is passionate about supporting families to be resilient. As a mother of three daughters under 8 and a survivor of postpartum depression and anxiety Jennifer knows exactly how challenging motherhood can be. She also knows that there is hope for all of us and with accurate information, support and inspiration that mothers and families can thrive.
Jennifer’s years of clinical experience as a social worker and her own personal journey gives her the unique ability to guide other moms on their path to health and wellness. You can also learn more about Jennifer, the services she offers and purchase her books on maternal self-care at www.themindfulfamily.com/jennifer.